Family Medicine is my specialty, therefore thinking holistically about family comes naturally. It’s what I was trained to do.
But the COVID-19 pandemic brought about a family meeting in my home that I could have never anticipated.
We are a very transparent family who tends to talk about everything, from triumphs to mistakes. I love that our home has what we affectionately call a discipleship lab. In this lab, we all process through the practice of our Christian faith in the context of real family life. Our brokenness and imperfections seem to naturally bring out the need for the Gospel for each of us.
Like any lab, the scientific method leads to learning opportunities. This pandemic has brought about some lab experiments in our home.
My wife and children are familiar with the unpredictable schedule associated with being a rural family doctor who does obstetrics. We live in the middle of our little town right on Main Street, and my life and practice make me known, visible, and accessible to the scores in the community that I care for. We have grown accustomed to interruptions and disruptions to our lives due to my calling. My family rolls with the glasshouse experience and accepts it with grace.
But this pandemic has brought about a whole new level of questions about how my profession affects each of my family members.
I might be OK with contracting COVID-19, and even dying as I live out my altruistic passions for medicine.
But, I can’t expect my family to embrace the same risk by simply living with me these days. Social distancing and the 6-foot rule are especially important for a person who is repeatedly exposed to this virus day after day.
I have my own misgivings about the risk of losing any of their lives due to my calling.
It takes a real, and honest conversation to discuss what each of us is feeling in regards to our personal risks from COVID-19. Especially in regards to my personal presence in our house. My biological footprint here is like a minefield for my family.
Sorting out the practicalities of modified quarantine and social distancing options in my own home is interesting. Is it OK to eat together? How about touching, hugging, etc..? My primary love language is physical touch, so this really rocks my world and patterns of living. I can’t be on autopilot as I return home. I have to really think about what I touch, before letting my guard down.
Here is what we decided to do.
- Clean my car when I get home
- Disrobe and place my clothes in the washer
- Hit the shower immediately
- Socially distance myself from my wife and kids
- No kissing and limited physical contact
- Self monitor for symptoms
- Keep my hands away from my face!
Fear is real. Love is real. Protection is real. Caution and safety are real.
What am I willing to temporarily give up out of regard for my family during these days. Radical separation? Partial separation? How much am I willing to compromise at the expense of their safety?
So much to reflect on, each day of this pandemic..
It is stressful to have things change daily at work. The tension of donning PPE while caring for sick patients drains my emotional energy every hour. I long for coming home to what has always been my peaceful place of rest. A haven of recovery that my family lovingly provides. I can relax, ahhhh. But I must pull in, clean my car, door handles, disrobe in the laundry room, hit the shower with a little greeting, and then carefully distance myself from my family while trying to act like things are normal.
My family is reassured that my mandatory twice-a-day temperature checks at work provide some surveillance. But I secretly wonder if that mild sore throat I feel is allergies, early illness, or just psychogenic. I worry about their welfare and safety. I think about my welfare and safety.
We have a guest house, and I have volunteered to stay there alone for the next many weeks in order to protect my wife and children. But, they insist on modified home precautions for me, so we can be together. While I like that plan, I worry if it is a selfish choice that I will later regret.
This pandemic has brought about soul-searching conversations within my home about how we live together, and what we are willing to die for.
Family Medicine converges both family and medicine. I have always known this, but now I feel it more deeply due to this virus’s potential intrusion into my home.
